Easter Weekend

I got back to Seattle today after a rather unusual Easter Weekend up in Ferndale. My parents were out of town in Mexico, spending some well desired time together, but ironically it felt Kellie, Meg and I home for Easter, along with Kellie's "boyfriend" James. I came home mid-afternoon with the Talbot's. After a rather odd experience driving through Ferndale and seeing my little sister in an old farming truck with some boy I came home to an empty house and immediately felt bored. Since Abbie and I broke up, home has been filled with a lot of boredom for me. My life is definitely in Seattle now. But, with all things aside I was glad to be home. I had a great opportunity to see some from friends from Firwood that night and had a brief but great conversation with Bow Wow who I admire greatly for his honesty and ability to just connect with people.
The next day Kellie, Meg, James, and I went on a nice bike ride to Birch Bay. We visited my favorite spot in Ferndale on the way there. A spot I have only shared with my family and Steven. I raced my way there and it wasn't until we stopped at Birch Bay that I realized that I wasn't there to get a work out. I was there for the fellowship with my siblings. Looking out over the water I felt compelled to read them a scripture that has stuck with me for the last week, Pslams 18, the part about being broken really stands out to me and gives me a clearer vision of where I am going. My recent break up with Abbie has really left me broken. The unexpectedness and the sudden lack of communication has caused a lot of hurt and made me dwell on a lot of things, but fidning that verse has really made me think and I really wanted to share that with them. On the way back I went slower and took the time to talk to everyone. It really made me think about the way I live my life, in everyday situations do I go at my pace and mind my own business or do I take the time to walk along others and show my real love for them. Towards the end of the trip I looked down at my hand and noticed a scar that I had gotten 2 weeks ago on my thumb. The scar was formed when I came back after Spring Break and cleaned the shower until it was spotless. I thought about the fact that I would have never gotten that scar had I stayed on top of my chore the quarter before and put constant effort into it, which made me realize that's the way I treat most things in life. I put alot of effort in at one time and then just get by for awhile and then try to put a bunch of effort in to make up for my previous lack of effort. I do that with school, my walk with God, chores, friendships, and even my past relationship. After realizing this I told myself that this is one thing I need to change. I need to make a genuine effort and constant devotion into all that I do, a continuous effort. It killed me to think about the way that I get excited about things and then abandon them to only try to come back to them like nothing ever happened. I've been thinking a lot about genuine love lately and I believe that genuine love has to be a continuous love.
That night Colte and I did the epic pee off the Sunset Bridge. I don't know what it is about that bridge and peeing off of it but it's a great feeling. But I always feel a little remorseful due to the illegal side of things.
Another weird thing about coming home for Easter is that my home church is in Seattle. And Mosaic, the church I wanted to go to, would have been awkward because Abbie would be there and I figured she probably didn't want to see or talk to me so and I didn't want to bring up problems like that on Easter, so I couldn't go there. So we went to Cornwall Church. It's very contemporary. Almost too contemporary for me. But for the most part the sermon was good, but to me it was more of an outreach service than something that would provoke thought for me. I felt like the sermon Ryan Church gave on the Resurrection at the Inn last Tuesday was more what I was looking for. I've struggled to find a church that I really like in the Bellingham area, which will probably continue to be a problem when only coming home for occasional weekends.
All and all the weekend just didn't feel like Easter to me. I don't know if it was because my mind was somewhere else or if it was not having parents around or what. I thought a great deal about the cultural significance of Easter while watching the neighbor kids hunt for eggs and it occurred to me that in my family Easter had never really been highlighted by the resurrection of Jesus. Yeah, I knew that was the meaning for it, but in the past for me it had been more about family and Easter baskets. I don't feel like many people take the time to truly think about the power of the resurrection and they just kind of over look it on a day like today. I think that's why I felt so weird today, because on a day that was dedicated to Jesus' resurrection I didn't feel like thinking or talking about it was very prevalent.
As I left home to drive down by myself I called my mom and it was on of the more memorable times for me of just wanting my mom to be by my side. I cried as I got off the phone, but not because I wanted her there but because I was so happy that I have such a great relationship with her. As I felt my sisters I held my tears back. It was great to invest in those relationships and just spend some long overdue time with them. It wasn't really the Easter I expected but I felt like it was what I needed.